Autism is widely misunderstood, often reduced to stereotypes that fail to capture the diverse experiences of autistic individuals. While awareness of autism has increased, genuine understanding is still lacking. Many people hold outdated beliefs that can lead to harmful assumptions, exclusion, and missed diagnoses.

As someone passionate about advocating for neurodivergent individuals, I want to shed light on the aspects of autism that often go unrecognized—especially the reasons why many autistic people are diagnosed late in life, the challenges of masking, and what society needs to understand to create a more inclusive world.

What is Autism?

Autism, or Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects how a person experiences the world, processes information, and interacts with others. Autism is not a disease; it’s a different way of thinking and experiencing life. It affects communication, sensory processing, and social interaction, but it also comes with unique strengths such as deep focus, creativity, honesty, and the ability to recognize patterns others may not see.

Autism is a spectrum, meaning that no two autistic people are exactly alike. Some individuals require significant support, while others live independently but still face challenges that aren’t always visible to others

Why Autism Can Be Missed in Childhood

Many autistic individuals, particularly those who do not fit the traditional stereotypes of autism, go undiagnosed in childhood. There are several reasons why this happens:

Masking – Many autistic children, especially girls and those with strong social motivation, unconsciously learn to mimic neurotypical behavior to fit in. This makes their struggles less visible to teachers, doctors, and even family members.

Stereotypes – Autism is still largely associated with young boys who have noticeable speech delays or who engage in repetitive behaviors. Autistic individuals who are highly verbal, academically successful, or socially engaged may not be recognized as autistic.

High Intelligence and Compensation – Many autistic people develop coping strategies to compensate for their challenges. They might work extra hard to read social cues, manage sensory overload, or mask their struggles—often at great personal cost.

ADHD Can Mask Autism

Autism and ADHD frequently co-occur, but ADHD symptoms can sometimes overshadow autistic traits, making it harder to recognize autism. ADHD is often diagnosed earlier because traits like hyperactivity, impulsivity, and inattention are more outwardly noticeable. When an autistic individual also has ADHD, professionals might focus only on the ADHD aspects, missing the underlying autistic traits.

For example, someone with both ADHD and autism may struggle with executive function, but their hyperactivity or distractibility might be interpreted as just ADHD-related, overlooking their social difficulties, sensory sensitivities, or deep need for routine. This can lead to delayed or missed diagnosis, leaving individuals without the full support they need

The Impact of Late Diagnosis

Receiving an autism diagnosis later in life can be both validating and overwhelming. On one hand, it helps explain years—sometimes decades—of feeling different or struggling with aspects of life that seem easy for others. On the other hand, it can bring grief for missed support, past misunderstandings, and a lifetime of unnecessary struggles.

Without a diagnosis, many autistic adults experience chronic burnout from masking, difficulty maintaining relationships, and challenges in workplaces that aren’t designed for neurodivergent minds.

Late diagnosis often leads individuals to reflect on their childhood and realize that many of their difficulties were not personal failures but signs of an unsupported neurodivergent identity.

How Autism May Present Differently in Females

Historically, autism research and diagnostic criteria were based on male presentations of autism, which has led to underdiagnosis in females. Autistic women and girls often exhibit different traits, such as:

● More advanced social mimicry skills, which help them mask their struggles.

● Special interests that align more closely with social norms (e.g., books, animals, psychology) rather than traditionally “specialist” topics.

● Greater sensitivity to social rejection, leading them to overcompensate in friendships and relationships.

● Internalized struggles with anxiety, depression, and perfectionism rather than outward behavioral challenges.

As a result, many autistic women go undiagnosed until adulthood, often only discovering their neurodivergence after a child or sibling is diagnosed, or when they reach a point of burnout.

The Toll of Masking

Masking is the practice of suppressing natural autistic traits to blend in with neurotypical society. This can involve forcing eye contact, mimicking social behaviors, suppressing stimming (repetitive movements or sounds that help regulate emotions), or overanalyzing conversations to avoid making social mistakes.

While masking can help autistic individuals navigate a world that isn’t designed for them, it comes at a significant cost. Long-term masking is linked to:

● Increased anxiety and depression

● Chronic exhaustion and autistic burnout

● Identity confusion and loss of self

● Delayed diagnosis due to appearing “too normal” to be autistic

Encouraging autistic people to unmask and be themselves—without fear of judgment—is crucial for their mental health and well-being.

What People Need to Understand About Autism

1. Autistic People Are Not Antisocial
Many autistic individuals crave social interaction but may struggle with the nuances of neurotypical social expectations. Sensory overload, difficulty processing verbal cues, and the need for social recovery time can make socializing exhausting—but that doesn’t mean we don’t want friendships or meaningful connections.

2. Autism and Burnout Are Deeply Connected
Autistic burnout happens when an individual is overwhelmed by prolonged masking, sensory overload, or unaccommodating environments. It can result in extreme exhaustion, increased sensory sensitivities, loss of executive functioning, and withdrawal from daily life. Burnout is not laziness; it’s a response to an inaccessible world.

3. Autistic People Are Not Shy—We Observe First
Many autistic individuals prefer to assess a situation before jumping into conversation. This can be mistaken for shyness, but in reality, we are just processing the social dynamics, figuring out when to contribute, and ensuring we are comfortable before engaging fully. Once in a safe environment, many autistic people can be outgoing, passionate, and even thrive in social settings.

4. “You Don’t Look Autistic” is Not a Compliment
Autism can be invisible, and many autistic individuals learn to mask so effectively that their struggles aren’t immediately obvious. Just because someone seems confident, social, or successful doesn’t mean they don’t experience sensory challenges, executive dysfunction, or social exhaustion behind the scenes.

5. Many Autistic People Achieve High-Level Qualifications
The stereotype that autistic individuals cannot succeed academically or professionally is outdated. Many autistic people excel in specialized fields, achieving high-level degrees and thriving in their careers. However, the workplace often lacks accommodations, leading to unnecessary struggles.

The world needs to move beyond mere awareness and toward acceptance and genuine inclusion of autistic individuals. Understanding that autism is more than just a set of challenges—that it also comes with strengths—is key to creating a society that values neurodivergent minds.

By dispelling myths, embracing accommodations, and allowing autistic individuals to exist as they are without the need to mask or conform, we can build a world that works for everyone.

Please reach out to me on my contact page to book a 15 minute complimentary call.

**Disclaimer:**

*The information and coaching services provided on this website are for educational and support purposes only and are not intended to diagnose, treat, or cure any medical or mental health condition, including neurodivergent conditions such as ADHD or autism. Coaching is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or psychiatric care. Always consult a licensed healthcare or mental health provider for diagnosis or treatment of any condition. By using this website, you acknowledge and accept full responsibility for your health and well-being.*

What I Wish More People Understood About Autism